GOD LOVES ME EVEN IN MY FEAR

God fiercely loves us through our flaws and imperfections—not in spite of them.¹

                                                                                                         Margaret Feinberg

As you know, God is walking me through a journey in redefining the word Fear.

Redefining might not be the correct word. Possibly the adventure (if I can call it that) is how  do I am respond to fear? How to walk  when approached/ surrounded in an attack?

If I were to look in a mirror while in a fear-filled state, who would I see? Who do you see? A strong Spirit-filled Christian who knows her joy? or someone questioning her  worth? Do I  start judging myself  as “less than?”

Is it safe to cry out in the pain? I am not always honest with this emotion. You get be a certain age and are duped to believe you are suppose to have it all together. How will people look at me in my  angst?  How will I be treated if they really knew  of this silly fear? Would I receive words of true encouragement or just biblical rhetoric?

Even as Christians, do we honestly allow ourselves to open this door to our hearts? The fear to recognize and admit we have fear. The exposure of shame or pride may  become greater than the original fear itself.

Victory through each fear happens in honesty. Admitting where you are. Fear is by no means greater than God’s love,  but something is present. The need for help is real.

                I need you God, Help me in this. Take my hand. I know the facts of “Your grace is sufficient”. I need to experience the reality of that sufficiency.  I need to see Your Face.

The following is a simple story where God walked with me. I saw fear and called myself incompetent. God saw me and gave me His Love.:

As I received  instructions for a straightforward job, I nodded my head expressing I understood the task expected of me. It was a simple task, but not one I had done for awhile. Suddenly my mind went into the question/attack mode. I was struck with thoughts flying out of nowhere saying:

• YOU ARE FORGETTING WHAT THEY JUST ASKED YOU TO DO. THEY JUST TOLD YOU! HUH!
• YOU WILL NEVER REMEMBER WHAT TO DO!
• YOU WILL START DOING THE JOB, THEN FORGET AND LOOK DUMB!
• YOU ARE REALLY STUPID!

I was never in any real danger. The whole inner conversation may  sound silly but fear has no rules. It just attacks. Big jobs, little jobs. Lots of experience, No experience.  No matter who you are, what you are doing, what is happening to you.  Fear attacks your weak points.

I know God loves me.  I am a Daughter of the King,  but lies/fear yell so loud, it is hard to remember and walk in that reality.  I needed to run into God’s arms for His reality in my weakness. This brings the victory.

Before I actually needed to perform the activity, I sat with my journal and laid my inside angst to God.  The following words poured out.:

      “Fear takes a shape of lies. Lies which yell INCOMPETENT. Reality? My brain has cross wires not completely understanding what is asked.”

    This was God’s response to me:  “ ‘Sandi I am with you. Be At Peace’.”

I could not pretend everything was fine. I went to God in my fear. I asked Him to clear my brain.The Creator of the Universe came to me in my time of need.  He stated “You are loved”.  My fear left. I completed the task in peace.

How I respond to the fear will allow God to work deeper in my worship of Him. Pride or shame can keep a top layer of fear covering the truth where God wants to take me. When I am honest with Him, or in a safe community, the lies of fear will not keep strangling me.    God’s perfect love surrounded me and cast out the fear as I laid down the lies inside calling me incompetent. I was honest about what was going on inside. That chain was broken. I could breathe.

God has something He wants to release in you. Allow Him to Love you in the way only He can love you.  As you are walking in His love, dealing with the big and little fears all around, worship will flow.

Be

Free

To

Worship

As

You

Were

Created!

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1FLOURISH Live Loved. Live Fearless. Live Free ©2016 Margaret Feinberg p.20