Day Fourteen
Thank God! He deserves your thanks. His love never quits. Thank the God of all gods, His love never quits. Thank the Lord of all lords. His love never quits. …
Psalm 136 :1-3 MSG
Take a second, (or two, depending on where you are sitting and reading this post) Look into the mirror. Who and what do you see?
Today who is the person absorbing the TRUTH of today’s verse?
No shame involved, just honesty. The best honest deepest most beautiful art, the best reflection of peace where we can breathe will only come as we allow ourselves to be truly honest on a day to day level in our relationship with God.
Spending time with God is not only an experience set aside for a weekend service or prayer before meals. Those are the set up “easy times”. No thought required. The rest of the week takes a bit more work.
Is God part of your Artsy, creative time? On the weekdays when you are living life, do you ask God, “Do You REALLY WANT to spend time with me?” You might remember some pretty icky stuff that started happening on Monday morning. Why would God want to step into that mud?
Here is a Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde mirror experience for me.
I started college, the fall right after I accepted Jesus into my heart. I was so excited. This young girl was going to live a life very radical with joy and devotion to Jesus. Because my love for Jesus was huge, I figured everyone else had the same mind set. (Christian College) I hit a brick wall. Not everyone was a nice person. I made dumb choices. Have you been in those situations where you go to bed promising the next day was going to be better? — Vows under your breath so no one hears you. NO MORE DUMB CHOICES. ☹My heart wanted to go one way and my actions took me another. It is so great that sweet Jesus knows how hard it is trying to keep on the straight and narrow path. On the night He was going to be arrested, Jesus wanted to give His followers some “holy encouragement” to remember because He was aware what was coming. It wasn’t because Jesus felt His friends were all wimps at heart and could not be trusted. In fact, it was because He knew how much they truly cared for Him and the next few days would be tough He shared these words.
There is a part of you that is eager, ready for anything in God. But there’s another part that’s as lazy as an old dog sleeping by the fire.
Matt. 26:41
This may seem harsh, but I can identify with this statement.
I did not like the face in the mirror.
I was not liking the face in the mirror. God’s love did not quit on me though. Finally I quit being lazy inside. The pain in my heart was so huge and I felt so empty. God gently took my hand,”OK- Now you are finally ready to listen and receive.”
Let’s turn to Dr Jekyll’s side. I have graduated. I have moved. I am married. I belong to a really good church. I put on a “everything is great ☺”. The woman looking in the mirror has a different story to tell. She is not going to be the “Ms. Hyde” though. She is REALLY GOOD. Don’t cause problems. That person is accepted. Be the listening ear.
I felt my life was meeting everyone else’s need but did anyone actually know me? Service is good Christian love, but my heart was sometimes very sad. I kept silent for a long time. I would not even dare to look inside or acknowledge there was a seed of a dream in me
I did not like the face in the mirror. Who was she?
Please don’t get the idea my life was horribly dark all the time. I grew to love worship in a deep way through the Holy Spirit. I grew to recognize the reality of an intense relationship between ” My Heavenly Papa” and me. This was also when God’s wonderful love showed me the Dr. Jekyll life was a false label I was not called to live under either.
The similarity between Dr Jekyll and Ms.Hyde, was that my worth came from doing. Was I true to myself or only responding to the needs of others? I felt accepted, I felt important. I would not dare to even think about the “no” word. Insecurity choked me.
How did things change with both Ms. Hyde and Dr. Jekyll?
BY BEING HONEST!
In being honest, God started clearing out my false self and false securities. In the empty space, there was room for the freedom to discover the gifts He always had in store for me.
A winding path, initially uncharted and frightening, is laid out before me.
There are little imps still trying to destroy this journey of creative expression and worship but that is a battle for another post. In this victory, THE CREATOR states I am not alone:
Friends, does this mean I can do anything I want and never do something for another person? NO! That would not be loving and living like Jesus. What it does mean is my heart is free to serve out of the flow I receive from Jesus. It is a freer list handwritten by Jesus. Emily P. Freeman would call it living out my ‘ poema’ https://emilypfreeman.com/a-million-little-ways/
Writing and Photography: This is a dream Dr. Jekyll would have never dared to allow her heart to look into. And yet as the false labels left, space opened up to see places God wanted to take me.
Is the creative path you are on similar to mine? God brings our art, our worship through the the past we have experienced. Our past is not a hindrance. It is the road from which we RECEIVE, REFLECT AND then RESPOND.
The freedom is found in spending time in Him first and then flowing out in your creativity.
God’s Love Never Quits. God does not call you to DO. He asks you to BE. –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––
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Through a transformation program called Faithwalking and recognizing I am a Type 4 in the Enneagram. 1 I am SLOWLY discovering how to show up as the person God Created and am being freed through Jesus.
1 To read more about the Enneagram you can go to THE ROAD BACK TO YOU by Ian Cron https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/28268515-the-road-back-to-you